Happy Valentine's Day, horror fans! Do you hate Valentine's Day? Do you get sick of all the lovey-dovey couples out there? Or maybe you just like to celebrate your Valentine's Day with a twist of horror?
Well, look no further. This year, Crypt TV has released two horror shorts to celebrate the season of love!
The first video, titled Be Mine, is just shy or two minutes and gives you a quick bite sized bit of Valentine's horror that is watchable on your coffee break, on the toilet, or in between Valentine Tantra sessions with your significant other.
Be Mine is a super simplistic story where a Valentine obsessed killer with a bolt action crossbow descends upon an unwitting couple and kills them off. I thoroughly enjoyed this little video, as it reminded me a lot of classic slashers (such as My Bloody Valentine) from the 80s (my favorite sub-genre).
I would love to see this movie expanded into a full length slasher, maybe even turning it into a period piece by setting it in the 80s proper and having the killer slowly taking out happy couples just for being in love. His motive should probably be as cliche as "My own girlfriend dumped me," "I hate being alone on Valentine's," or "I've never had a girlfriend so no one else should either."
Watch Be Mine now!
The second video released by Crypt TV is titled Valentine's Die. It has a slightly longer running time of just over five minutes and also has more humor to it.
In this holiday horror entry, a couple on the rocks during Valentine's Day is hunted down by a murderous and somewhat demonic version of cupid who seems to have the singular goal of killing off anyone who cheats on their significant other during the season of love.
This video definitely was totally goofy and had more to it than the other, and it had some fun moments with the cupid character flying around, but I felt it was also lacking in spots. For one, cupid seems to be a combo of a real life doll and CGI. I would have preferred if the doll was only done with practical effects, as the CGI makes it look almost too ridiculous.
Being a huge fan of Full Moon Features such as Ginger Dead Man, Evil Bong, and Puppet Master, I know it's possible to make "little" murderers look really cool. I think that could have benefited this movie.
My second complaint is the kills. They could have gotten a little more creative. At one point, the boyfriend traps cupid in a stock pot and holds the pot against his stomach/crotch. I thought it would have been awesome to have the cupid dig or eat it's way through his body. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.
But, make a judgement for yourself. Watch Valentine's Die now.
Both of these short videos are great ways to get your Valentine's horror fix. Neither one is bad and both have their own holiday charm. However, I felt they both could have been made even better with a few extra tweaks.
RATING: 3 OUT OF 5 PENTAGRAMS
Occult Concept is a horror podcast and blog focusing on discussions of independent and cult horror film from the 70's, 80's, and beyond--including current media which is inspired by these movies.